Faith, Rejection, and Losing Sight

I’ve been hit with a wave of rejections from the summer programs I’ve applied to. Rejection is disappointing, but more generally it hurts. I can’t quite describe it.. It’s unsettling mixed with hard truth.

We shouldn’t mix rejection by others as a standard to measure your value or ethics against. But it’s attacking me. This past year and especially this semester, I have worked so hard, taking hard classes and trying my best to be the best I can be. But were my efforts enough? Did I try to do too much?

I’m at this fork in the road where I can just lay down and let everything slide past me. To be brutally honest, I am exhausted right now. Or I can get back up from the dirt road and start running.

But as Hannah Montana says, you can get the best of both worlds! (Had to include some humor there, haha) I need to lay there on the ground just a bit longer. It’s a bit unfortunate that reality, school work, and the world still goes on despite the internal struggle that embroils within you. But that’s life! Rest just a bit more, before starting to run again.

It’s so easy to lose sight of the bigger picture when you are caught in the day to day of self-constructed busy work. What are you really working towards? And by thinking about this question, I start to remember all the things I have and am so thankful for: the endless love and care from my parents, the fact that these people called friends would give me their precious and valuable time to spend with me. And just the very fact that we live in such a beautiful present moment: the cherry blossoms blooming with vitality, the sun providing her abundant radiance, and the little creatures, squirrels and ducks, that roam the campus without worry and fear, and full of innocence. Having a strong sense of where you are at this present moment grounds you. And having this moral and standing ground, allows you to move forward with conviction and sense of purpose.